3 posts tagged “kids”

I am and will forever be haunted by children. I cannot get through a single day with them without reflecting on how things went...

did I say the right thing?
 was I too easy on them?
too hard on them?
is he/she ok?
what should I have done differently?
I can't believe he/she/I said that!
wow, that was fun!
wow that sucked!
wow I get paid how much for this?

Today was my coworker's birthday and she brought in a pinata. I knew it was going to be crazy because honestly- giving them permission to hit something with a stick and then giving them candy? Recipe for craziness. Things were just too dang wild to begin with. I had one child who was particularly ridiculous...I kept giving him warnings but it really didn't help...and so I told him he couldn't participate and he was so mad...even though he said he didn't deserve to be a part of the festivities when I asked him about it. He left, still very angry with me, and I couldn't stop thinking about whether or not I was fair.

I think I deserve some of the blame. I need to joke around less and expect more. Tolerate less, be more serious. It's hard to transition from friend to teacher. In the beginning, I swore that I would come in tough and not put up with crap. Easier said than done- especially once you get to know the kids. Bah. I'm not perfect. I'll learn as I go.

Another thing...the child in my group that wasn't acting himself or smiling...well, I feel like he's doing better. I don't think my boss did anything about it (she kind of sucks at this job) but I've been joking with him a lot and he's been smiling more and just generally behaves better. He's still pretty aggressive at times (sproutball) but hopefully things are getting better.

Quote of the day:

"Jose and I should get to hit the pinata first because we're Mexican!"

...because I survived today.

I work at an elementary school. I have a group of 5th and 6th graders called group G, and my coworker Kate has another group of 5th and 6th graders called group H. Each group has 16 kids.
About 5 minutes before I left for work, I received a text message from Kate, "There's an ambulance parked in front of the school..." and then "And a firetruck" followed by, "And they just took a person out". I immediately begin thinking about one of my kids that I have been worried about for a while and it freaks me out a bit...what if something happened to one of them? I have no idea what I would do.

So I get to work and Kate says she has not found out what happened yet. I went into the office and asked Deb, the secretary, what was up with the ambulance. She said, "We had an incident" and I asked her, "Was it one of the kids?". As soon as she said no, I immediately felt relieved and didn't stick around for anymore details because frankly, she didn't seem to be offering them. So I got all my supplies ready (we were going to make dirt cups) and prepared for my day.

I met my group upstairs at 3pm sharp to find out that the 6th grade teacher was the one carted away in the ambulance because she had some sort of shaking fit or something. The kids were pretty stirred up/upset about it, understandably. We took them into the gym and started basketball on one side and sproutball on the other. Tia gets smacked really hard with a ball and immediately starts crying. I began playing sproutball (my favorite game in the world) when Kate yelled my name and called me over to a kid who was on the ground. He's honestly one of the sweetest kids ever, and there he was, rolling on the ground, crying and clutching his face. When he pulled his hands away, there was blood everywhere.

When you get a cut in your mouth, it tends to look like your entire mouth is bleeding because the blood goes all over your teeth and gums. So Caleb had blood everywhere and was pretty much hysterical. I tried to calm him down and explain to him that he was ok but it didn't work very well. The kids started gathering around and I kept them back as much as I could. Kate (who had ran to the office) came back and said we needed to move him to the main office. I picked him up off the ground and Kate took him to the office.

A minute or so later, I asked around to see how it happened. It turns out a girl, Caly, accidentally elbowed him in the face.  She started to cry when she was talking to me about it and said the other kids were blaming her and yelling at her for it. She and a friend went out into the hallway. It was time for gym to be over so I rounded up all the kids and explained to them that Caleb was ok and that it wasn't fair to yell at Caly when it was clearly an accident. During this time, another kid came up to me and said I needed to send Ryan to the office for hitting Jose.

The kids got their snacks and were seated in the MPR. I called Ryan up to me. Ryan is a small kid with a terrible lisp and Jose is a bigger, athletic kid who is pretty aggressive. Ryan told me what happened (with tears in his eyes) and we talked it through, he returned to his seat. I then notice that Caly and three of her friends are still in the hallway and everyone looks upset. She refuses to come back into the room or go to the office and says she wants to hide somewhere. At this point, I am unsure of what to do because Kate is still in the office with Caleb and we are shortstaffed by 3 people. I have group G and H under my wing. I told her to take a few minutes and then come back in.

Some time passes, I send another kid for her, and she is nowhere to be found. Kate ends up finding her and I start playing cards with some of the other kids.

A few minutes later, my boss walks in and says that Caly is in hysterics in the office because everyone was so mean to her. She starts talking to a table of boys about how they were treating her. One boy starts crying.  Another of Caly's friends is crying as well. I'd like to add that during this entire period of time, two kids continuously come up to me to ask for help with their Spelling homework. Over and over, for almost every word.

We decide to start making our dirt cups and split up into our groups once more. Caleb ends up going home with a swollen lip, nothing too terrible, and Caly is still crying somewhere. So we start making pudding and smashing up off-brand Oreos (Twist and Shouts). Clean up time rolls around so I send a few responsible kids to go wash out the dishes. I then notice that I can't find two of my boys, Chris and Ryan (a different Ryan). I send a responsible kid to go look for them and Adam tells me, "Chris fell down the stairs and is crying." Fucking awesome. I bring him into the MPR and he shows me a huge bruise on his arm and another on his leg. I ask, "Why were you on the stairs?" and get no answer. I am also told that another kid, Steven, kicked him. Steven isn't even in our program so I really have no idea what to do, because he's denying the whole thing.

Chris, who is crying and bruised, gets called to go home. Awesome, I love sending my kids home injured and full of tears.

We end up in the computer lab, where nothing tragic happens. I think the shenanigans ended about there.

Let's take a count of crying kids: Caleb, Caly, Mackenzie (her friend), Tia, Ryan, Chris, Braxton...and then later, when we got home, Kate and I.

I feel bad about what happened to all of them. I hate it that I can't protect them from injury and meanness of other kids.  I hate the fact that when it rains, it pours.

I need a drink.

But one little thing I have to share...so, our secretary, Deb, is pretty damn intimidating. To the kids and the staff. I've been working on her all year and I think she likes me a lot. I got her to buy me a candy bar in exchange for jewelry made from pipe cleaners and beads. I ended up giving the candy to the kids...

I never want to forget the feeling I just felt today so I think I will paint it in words.

I worked at a summer camp and at an after school program from January to August of this year and it was a great experience. I loved the kids and the staff. I last saw them on August 1st, the final day of our summer program.

I decided to go back and visit today because our amazing director, Mary, is leaving to work with the Peace Corps in Africa soon and today was here last day at Sunflower. I told one staff member, Nick, that I was coming back today.

~~~~~~~

I drove from my apartment straight to the school, about a thirty minute drive. I got off the highway around 3:10. It felt strange to take that familiar right into the neighborhood where the school is. Our summer program was at a different school so I hadn't been back to our building for a long time. As I pulled into the parking lot, I started to feel kind of nervous. What if I didn't feel like I belonged when I walked in? What if the kids didn't remember me? What if the staff was too busy to talk to me? What if it felt like a mistake and I felt silly for going back? I said a little prayer, got out of my car, and headed for the building. A few teachers chastized me for not using the crosswalk. I entered the building and took a right to the cafeteria, where our program is held. On the way I passed Meilene, a girl in our program who I liked very much. She turned her head but didn't say anything, like she recognized me but couldn't remember why.

I walked into the ever familiar cafeteria and saw that instead of having the students split into groups by age level, all of the 80 students in the program were seated at long tables, chattering away. Several staff members were opening boxes of Papa John's pizza to set out pizza for snack- they were excited to have a special treat in honor of Mary leaving. Alexis noticed me first and shouted, "Miss Melissa!" as she ran to give me a hug. Suddenly, heads began turning and kids began shouting my name excitedly. Kids jumped out of their seats and ran to wrap their arms around me. We had a group hug of at least 20 kids going. I felt little hands grabbing at me and saw little faces with missing teeth smiling up at me. A huge smile spread across my face. One of my favorite coworkers, Alyssa, ran over. Kids that I didn't recognize began to join the hug circle too. Soon we were laughing and I felt myself rocking back and forth until we toppled to the ground. Everyone was completely distracted from what Mary was saying, and I hear her say, "Ok, get in a hug and then come back and sit down!" And slowly, the kids began to dissipate. I looked around at all the smiling faces. My heart swelled. I had forgotten how great it felt to be a part of this group. They still remembered. I still belonged.